In this post, I’d like to give some of my own answers to questions that bisexual people are commonly asked!
Are you really a lesbian/gay and don’t want to come out?
For the most part, no! When people ask this question it just perpetuates the myth that bisexuality isn’t real, and that people who identify as bisexual are just “exploring their sexuality” or “going through a phase.” Bisexual people really are attracted to both men and women, and it isn’t anybody else’s job to tell them that they aren’t. Of course, there are some people who may identify as bisexual for a time before coming out as gay, but that doesn’t mean that everyone should be put into that category.
Do you prefer men or women?
The answer to this will vary depending on who you ask. Many people don’t have a stronger attraction to one gender over the other, while some do. Others actually dislike being asked this question because they’re just attracted to whoever they’re attracted to; it doesn’t need to be so black and white.
Don’t you feel greedy or selfish?
No, and we shouldn’t be made to feel that way either. And that’s kind of the end of the answer to that question.
What’s the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?
This question is really important because bisexuality and pansexuality are often lumped together as one thing, which can contribute to the erasure of both of them. The main difference, to me, is that bisexual people are attracted to two genders: male and female. Pansexual people don’t limit themselves to male and female, and instead, date whoever they are attracted to regardless of gender. The two sexualities do have many similarities, but it is important to mark the differences and accept a person however they identify.
Are you eventually going to choose between gay or straight?
Nope. Even if I end up married or in a long-term relationship, that doesn’t mean I’ve “committed” to being heterosexual if that person is the opposite sex, or that I’ve “decided to be gay” if that person is my same sex. A person will continue to identify as bisexual as long as they are still attracted to both genders.
Aren’t you more likely to cheat in a relationship?
The myth that bisexual people are more promiscuous or more likely to cheat on you seems a little outrageous; we really are just like everybody else, and not any more likely to cheat than anyone of any other sexuality. Bisexual ≠ cheater!
Are people in the LGBT community mean or dismissive of you?
Unfortunately, the answer to this question is frequently “yes.” You would think that people in the community would be more likely to be accepting of bisexual people, but that isn’t always the case. Many LGBT people are guilty of making the same accusations and generalizations about bi people that some straight people do because they think we’re “undecided,” so we’re not a real part of the community.
If you’re bisexual and you’re asked one of these questions or another one like it, it’s important to remember that for the most part, people aren’t being intentionally rude or insulting. They’re probably just really uneducated about your sexuality, like most of the population. That’s why answering these kinds of questions is so important – we need to get rid of the stigma surrounding us!
BuzzFeed has a lot of great videos about bisexuality – here are a few for you to explore more!